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From a Facebook Friend: I don’t hate Obama, I simply believe he is destroying what made the US great. In that regard, he has, unfortunately, been somewhat successful…now we need to rebuild what will make us great again…Again, unfortunately, neither presidential candidate seems up to the task.
He was the prototypical angry black man. He wanted something that people of his color thought they deserved. He wanted more than what the white culture of the time was willing to give him. Respect. Respect for his religion. Respect for his view that war was unjust. Respect for his humanity. Respect for his race. Respect for his chosen name. At no small sacrifice, he earned that respect for himself and for more than just himself.
More than 20 years ago, I was working an evening basketball game following an afternoon fight shown on ABC Sports. We were just coming into the arena. The fights had been over for almost an hour. At that moment, The Greatest, then hobbled by Parkinson’s disease was slowly shuffling out of the arena. The remaining crowd stood waiting for just this moment in quiet reverence as my fellow crew members and I did. It was a mark of respect earned at great cost by an athlete who had no equal and a man whose greatness outside the ring earned respect and equality for so many.
Many will mark this first week of March, 2016, as the beginning of the end of the GOP as it is currently constructed. The party has a terminal disease and its end will probably be marked as November 8, 2016.
What will that end look like? The headline will surely say that Hillary Clinton will be president. It is extremely likely that she will have a Democrat-controlled Senate. It is less likely but highly probable that the House will be under Democrat control.
In actuality, the true damage will be illustrated by a number of factions that will begin to go their separate ways. The Tea Party, the evangelicals, and the moderates in the former GOP will be looking for new leadership and a new direction. Each faction will look to form a national party with the intention of being the successor to the old Party of Lincoln. Two other factions will seek to choose sides and determine the winner, the conservative media and the billionaire donors.
At that time, also, the post-mortems will begin. Fingers will be pointed and blame will be placed. Of course, none of those factions will take the share of the blame which they most richly deserve.
Others will apply their erudite analysis to the underlying causes of why this huge political animal suffered such a sudden and dramatic death by eating itself alive.
I would like to propose some root causes for the self-destruction of the party that I so admired during the time of Reagan.
1. Adversarial Foreign Policy. This is the concept that found its roots in the Eisenhower administration in the 1950sbwith the Domino Theory and evolved into the concept that America could only be strong only if it was facing a strong enemy, be it Kruschev, Castro, Ho Chi Min, Mao Tse Tong, Castro some more, the Soviet Union, Moammar Khadafi, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden and now Bashar al-Assad. It is possible that Republicans over the years have shifted their focus from Enemies Foreign to Enemies Domestic such as Jimmy Carter, Bill and Hillary Clinton and of course the arch-enemy Barack Hussein Obama. It is my belief that this philosophy has led to the destructive partisanship that has contributed to the fall of the Republican Party.
2. The Southern Strategy. Originated in 1968 by the Nixon campaign, the GOP surrendered the black vote to the democrats and pursued the white vote by demonizing the blacks and catering to the Southern Whites. Currently, it is most effectively recognized as dog whistles referring to policies that sound positive and democratic but usually have a discriminatory purpose such as voter suppression, states rights, and religious liberty. The problem is that this strategy only worked only as long as white male voters were in the majority. Demographics have changed greatly.
3. If we tell voters the truth about what we really believe, no one will vote for us. This began during the time of Reagan with the Laffer Curve, Voodoo economics and trickle-down. The core Republican policies served the donors and the constituency but was sold to the electorate by lies.
4. The end of the Fairness Doctrine and the emergence of the Conservative Media. The Fairness Doctrine was a policy of the United States Federal Communications Commission (FCC), introduced in 1949, that required the holders of broadcast licenses both to present controversial issues of public importance and to do so in a manner that was—in the Commission’s view—honest, equitable, and balanced. (WikiPedia) The Fairness Doctrine ended in 1987 and Rush Limbaugh went national in 1988. Fox News even adopted the slogan of the Fairness Doctrine by calling their coverage “fair and balanced”.
5. Republicans as the “holier than thou” party. The rise of the Religious Right goes back to the mid-90s when evangelical Christians became active in supporting Republicans. In exchange, the party offered the Pro-Life anti-abortion issue. The party that favors war, the death penalty, is opposed to universal health care and a living wage became the Pro-Life party.
6. Republicans began to believe the lie. Barack Obama was elected in 2008 and it seemed to open the floodgates of overt racism. The word muslim was a dog whistle for ni**er. Conservatives truly believed that the presidency of a black American could not be legitimate. Extreme partisanship became the rule of the day. Originalism and going back to the Constitution became the rationale for conservatives to reject our country’s liberal principles.
Many will rightly point to individuals in the Conservative movement to helped bring about its downfall in particular Donald Trump. Trump is simply an opportunistic actor who brought focus to the destructive forces and removed the last block and tumbled the pyramid.
It is now up to the pundits to predict the future and for the historians to predict the past.
A few years ago, I created an audio transcription of Admiral Rickover’s Speech Energy Resources and Our Future
That’s only true because it’s true.
When your client’s hopping mad; put his picture in the ad. If he still should prove refractory, add a picture of his factory.
The Banana Principle: Heuristic devices don’t tell you when to stop.
The Brain-Eye Law; To a certain extent, observational power can compensate for mental weakness.
The Diddle Factor changes things so that the equation and the universe appear to fit, without requiring any real change in either. This has the characteristic of eliminating differences by dropping the subject under discussion to zero importance.
The English laws punish vice; the Chinese laws do more, they reward virtue.
The Brain-Eye Law: To a certain extent, brainpower can make up for the lack of observational ability.
The First Commandment of Frisbee: The most powerful force in the world is that of a disk straining to land under a car, just beyond reach. This force is technically called “car sick”.
The How Come It All Landed On Me Law: Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
The Law of Fashion: the same dress is: indecent 10 years before its time, daring
1 year before its time, chic in its time, dowdy 3 years after its time, hideous 20 years after its time, amusing 30 years after its time, romantic 50 years after its time, and beautiful 100 years after its time. —James Laver
The Law of Too, Too, Solid Point: In any collection of data, the figure that is most obviously correct–beyond all checking–is the mistake.
The Lord giveth, Uncle Sam taketh away.
The Lump Law: If we want to learn anything, we mustn’t try to learn everything.
The Ninth Commandment of Frisbee: The higher your need to make a good catch, the greater probability your partner will deliver his worst throw. (If you can’t touch it, you can’t trick it.)
The Principal of Indifference: Laws should not depend on a particular choice of notation.
The absent are always in the wrong.
The absent are like children, helpless to defend themselves
The absent are never without fault. Nor the present without excuse.
The amount of flak on any subject is inversely proportional to the subjects true value.
The ancient sage who concocted the maxim, “Know thyself,” might have added, “Don’t tell anyone.”
The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has just done you a small favor wish that he might have done you a greater one.
The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook
The art of progress is to preserve order amid change and to preserve change amid order.
—Alfred North Whitehead
The ass is still an ass, e’en though he wears a lion’s hide.
The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.
The best index to a person’s character is (a) how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can’t fight back
—Abigail Van Buren
The best portion of a good man’s life: his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.
The best prophet of the future is the past.
The best substitute for experience is being sixteen.
The best time to look for work is after you get the job.
The best way out of a problem is through it.
The best way to get and keep good people is to give them room to grow.
The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant–and to let the air out of the tires. —Dorothy Parker
The best way to keep your friends is to not give them away.
The biggest step you can take is the one you take when you meet the other person halfway.
The Bitter part of discretion is valor.
—Henry W. Nevinson
The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.
The chance of the bread falling buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
The chief defect of a democracy is that only the political party out of office knows how to run the government.
The cigarette smoke always drifts in the direction of the non-smoker, regardless of the direction of the breeze.
—Raj K. Dhawan
The conqueror is regarded with awe, the wise man commands our esteem, but it is the benevolent man who wins our affection.
The contest for ages has been to rescue liberty from the grasp of executive power.
The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: “Of course it’s none of my business, but…” is to place, period after the word “but.” Don’t use excessive force in supp1ying such a moron with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about.
The cynic who doesn’t believe in anything still wants you to believe him.
The deficiency will never show itself during the dry runs
—Charles P. Boyle
The degree of failure is in direct proportion to the effort expended and to the need for success.
The degree of one’s emotion varies inversely with one’s knowledge of the facts; the less you know the hotter you get.
The desire for knowledge, 1ike, the thirst of riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it.
The devil knew not what he did when he made man politic.
The difference between a chef end a cook seems to be in who cleans up the kitchen.
I —Paul Sweeney
The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and exactly right.
The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won’t.
The best security from a revolution is in constant correction of abuses and the introduction of needed improvements. It is the neglect of timely repair that makes rebuilding necessary.
The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning, while those other subjects merely require scholarship
The dossier is not the person.
—Dr. John Gall
The easiest way way to figure cost of living is to take your income and add ten percent.
The easiest way Ito find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
The excesses of ‘ our youth are drafts upon our old age, payable with interest, about thirty years after date.
The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is the most likely to be correct.
The faith in which I was brought up assured me that I was better than other people; I was saved, they were damned…Our hymns were loaded with arrogance–self-congratulation on how cozy we were with the Almighty and what a high opinion He had of us, what hell everybody else would catch come judgment day.
—Robert A. Heinlein
The final answer will exceed the magnitude or precision or both of the calculator.
The firmest friendships have been formed in mutual adversity, as iron is most strongly welded by the fiercest fire.
The first 90 percent of the task takes 90 percent of the time, while the last 10 percent takes the other 90 percent.
The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill. —Robert Heller
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
Do not handicap your children by making their 1ives easy.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Do whatever your enemies don’t want you to do.
Don’t ask the barber whether you need a haircut.
—Daniel S. Greenberg
Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
Don’t care if you are rich or not, as long as you can live comfortably and have everything you want.
Don’t look back, something might be following you.
Don’t malign the bug-eyed monster–Oh, he kidnaps girls, it’s true, but bear in mind that all he wants to do is what YOU’RE trying to do.
Don’t permit yourself to get between a dog and a lamp-post.
Don’t stop to stomp ants when the elephants are stampeding.
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation–as you grow o1der, it starts avoiding you.
—Old Farmers’ Almanac
Don’t worry if you’re a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.
Draw your salary before spending it.
Drink Canada Dry! You might not be able to, but it IS fun trying.
Dust breeds. \
Eat a live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. (On second thought, a bird in the hand is finger-licking good.
—Stanley C. Pearson
Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor.
Edgar R. Fiedler
Electrician’s breakfast–ohmlettes. —Raymond D. Love
Enjoy your life. If you don’t, no one else will.
Peters Inversion: Internal consistency’s valued more highly than efficiency.
—Laurence J. Peter
Peters Paradox: Employees in a hierarchy do not really object to incompetence in their colleagues. —Laurence J. Peter
Peters Placebo: An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
—Laurence J. Peter
Phases of a project: 1. Exultation. 2. Disenchantment. 3. Confusion. 4. Search for the guilty. 5. Punishment of the innocent. 6. Distinction for the uninvolved.
Pity the meek for they shall inherit the earth. —Don Marquis
Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.
Platonic friendship: The interval between the introduction and the first kiss.
—Sophie Irene Loeb
Pleasure that comes unlooked for is thrice welcome. —Rogers.
Policemen’s barbecue: steak-out —Raymond D. Love
Political economy: Two words that should be divorced–on the grounds of incompatibility.
—The Wall Street Journal
Politicians will always inflate when given the opportunity.
Politics isn’t too bad a profession, if you succeed, there are many rewards. If you disgrace yourself, you can always write a book.
Positive anything is better than negative nothing.
— Elbert Hubbard
Positive: Being mistaken at the top of ones voice. —Ambrose Bierce
Poster in Belgrade tourist office: Visit the Soviet Union before it Visits you.
Practice does not make perfect: perfect practice makes perfect.
Preserve the old, but know the new.
Pride that dines on vanity, sups on contempt. — Benjamin Franklin
Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by hitting back.
— Pat Hein
Put your brain in gear before starting your mouth.
Put your trust in those who are, trustworthy.
Quit while you’re ahead. You may not get another chance.
RANDOMIZATION: The assignment of subjects to conditions in an experiment according to some preconceived plan. Randomness, llke chastity, is more often claimed than maintained.
REDESIGNED: previous faults corrected, we hope.
RELIABLE: Sometimes capable of giving the same results.
RELIGION: A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the unknown.
REPUTATION: What others are not thinking about you.
REVIEWER’S NOTE! A rejection slip based upon literature and theories in vogue during the period the reviewer was studying for his or her Ph.D.
REVOLUTIONARY: it’s different from our competitors.
RUGGED: too heavy to lift.
Raising pet electric eels is gaining a lot of current popularity.
Randomness: The property required to make statistical calculation come out right.
Real joy comes not from ease or riches or from the praise of men, but from doing something worthwhile.
—Sir Wilfred Grenfell
Reality is for people who can’t take science fiction.
Reforms come from below. No man with four aces howls for a new deal
—John F. Parker
Remember: LSD absorbs 47 times its own weight in excess reality.
Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they’re entitled to a little fun first.
Rowe’s Rule: The odds are 6 to 5 that the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming express train.
Rule of Parenthood: Enough is never enough. —Phyllis C. Richman
Rules: 1. The boss is always right. 2. When the boss is wrong, refer to rule 1.
Ryan’s Law: Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED: manufacturer’s, upon receipt of check.
STATISTICAL ANALYSIS: Mysterious, sometimes bizarre, manipulations performed upon the collected data of an experiment in order to obscure the fact that the results have no generalizable meaning for humanity. Commonly computers are used, lending an additional aura of unreality to the proceedings.
SUCCESS: Living long enough to be a burden on your children.
Sanity and insanity overlap a fine gray line. —Charles van Kriedt
Sattingler’s Law: It works better if you plug it in.
Say’s Law: Supply creates its own demand.
Science commits suicide when it adopts a creed.
—Thomas Henry Huxley
Science does not have a moral dimension. It is like a knife; if you give it to a surgeon or a murderer, each will use it differently. —Werner von Braun
Science is a flickering light in our darkness, it is but the only one we have and woe to him who would put it out. —Morris Cohen
Scientific and humanistic approaches are not competitive but supportive, and both are ultimately necessary. —Robert C. Wood
Scientists who dislike the restraints of highly organized research like to remark that a truly great research worker needs only three pieces of equipment: a pencil, a piece of paper, and a brain. But they quote this maxim more often at academic banquets than at budget hearings.
Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.
Secretary’s Lament: Around here I’m a very responsible person. If anything goes wrong, I’m responsible. ,
Self-centered people are those who spend so much time talking about themselves we never get a chance to talk about ourselves.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.
Share your happiness with others today.
She has as much originality as a Xerox machine. —Lawrence J. Peter
She’s learned to say things with her eyes that others waste time putting into words.
Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I’ll show you a failure.
—Thomas A. Edison
Show your affection, which will probably meet a pleasant response.
Now you can borrow enough money to get completely out of debt.
Simplicity is the true test. —Ron Randall
Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other “sins” are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is NOT a sin–just stupid.)
Since no matter can be created or destroyed (Excluding nuclear and cafeteria substances), as one attempts to remove unwanted material (i.e., trash) from one’s living space, the remaining material mutates so as to occupy 30 to 50 percent more than its original volume.
Since we have to speak well of the dead, It’s best to knock them while they’re alive.
Sixty years ago I knew everything; now I know nothing; education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. —Will Durant
Skiing is so much fun. The bright blue above you … AND THE BRIGHT BLUE BELOW YOUl!
Skinner’s Constant: That quantity, which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer you should have gotten.
Small opportunities are often the beginnings of great achievements.
Snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile things, but just look at what they can do when they stick together.
So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work.
So sure are you! Tried have you? Always with you it cannot be done. Hear you nothing I say? Try not. Do! Do! Or do not. there is no try. —Yoda
Social legislation cannot repeal physical laws. —Dalin B. Oaks
Society heaps honors on the unique, creative personality, but not until he has been dead for fifty years.
—Charles Merrill Smith
Some people are quick to criticize clichés, but what is a cliché? It is a truth that has retained its validity through time. Mankind would lose half its hard-earned wisdom, built up patiently over the ages, if it ever lost its clichés.
–Marvin G. Gregory
Some people who slap you on the back are trying to help you swallow what they just told you.
Someone whom you reject today will reject you tomorrow.
Sometimes the best law of all is no law at all. Not all the world’s ills are susceptible to legislative correction. —Pierre S. du Pont
Sometimes the crowd is right.
Space expands to house the people to perform the work that Congress creates.
Speak little and well, if you would be esteemed as a man of merit.
Speed bumps are of negligible effect when the vehicle exceeds triple the desired restraining speed.
Sprinkle’s Law: Things fall at right angles.
Statistics are a highly logical and precise method for saying a half-truth inaccurately.
Stockbroker’s Declaration: The market will rally from this or lower levels.
Start with what is right rather than what is acceptable.
Student’s snack–cramberries. —Raymond D. Love
Success goes to your head, failure to your heart.
Success is doing what you like to do and making a living at it.
Success seems to be that which forms the distinction between confidence and conceit.
Nelson, when young, was piqued at not being noticed in a certain paragraph of the newspapers, which detailed an action wherein he had assisted. “But never mind,” said he, “I will one day have a gazette of my own.” —Colton
Sufficient monies to do the job correctly the first time are usually not available; however, ample funds are much easily obtained for repeated major redesigns.
TANK: A means of transportation the Soviet army uses to visit its friends.
Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
Talent in staff work or sales will recurrently be interpreted as managerial ability.
—Charles P. Boyle
Talk of revolution is one way of avoiding reality
—John Kenneth Galbraith
Taxes are going up so fast, the government is likely to price itself out of the market.
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
That must be wonderful! I don’t understand it at all.
That which is good to be done, cannot be done too soon; and if it is neglected to be done early, it will frequently happen that it will not be done at all.
—Bishop Richard Mant
That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often becomes the height of wisdom in the next.
Courage consists not in blindly overlooking danger, but in seeing it, and conquering it.
Courage is the complement of fear. A man who is fearless cannot be courageous. (he is also a fool.)
Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village.
—Leonard Louis Levinson”
Courtship consists of a number of quiet attentions, not so pointed as to alarm. Nor so vague as not to be understood. —Sterne
Coward–one who in perilous emergency thinks with his legs
Cows may come and cows may GO, but the bull in this place goes on FOREVER!!!
Crane’s Rule: There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
Creativity varies inversely with the number of cooks involved with the broth.
, —Bernice Fitz-Gibbon
Creditors have better memories than debtors: and creditors are a superstitious sect, great observers of set days and times. —Benjamin Franklin
Croll’s Query: If tin whistles are made of tin, what are foghorns made of?
Cunning and deceit will every time serve a man better than force
Cutting the space budget really restores my faith in humanity. It eliminates dreams, goals, and ideals and lets us get straight to the business of hate, debauchery, and self-annihilation.
Cynics are right nine times out of ten, what undoes them is their belief that they are right ten times out of ten.
—Prof. C.P. Issawi
Deception Experiment: An experiment in which the researcher is pleased to believe that the true nature of the situation is unknown to the participants. Typically, the only parties deceived are the funding agency and the Journal editor.
Diagnostic: software which runs to completion no matter how broken the hardware is.
DIPLOMACY: The art of jumping into troubled waters without making a splash.
DIRECT SALES ONLY: Manufacturer had argument with distributor.
DOUBLE-BLIND EXPERIMENT: An experiment in which the chief researcher believes he is fooling both the subject and the lab assistant. Often accompanied by a belief in the tooth fairy.
Decisions of the judges will be final unless shouted down by a really overwhelming majority of the crowd present. Abusive and obscene language may not be used by the contestants when addressing members of the judging panel, or, conversely, by members of the judging panel when addressing contestants (unless struck by a boomerang).
Delusions are often functional. A mother’s opinions about her children’s beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.
Democracy is that form of government where everybody gets what the majority deserves.
—James D. Davidson
Democracy can learn something from Communism: for example, when a Communist politician is through, he is through.
Democracy is a device that insures that we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
—George Bernard Shaw
Dialogue: opposing factions discussing relevant issues. Formerly called an argument.
Did you hear about the earthquake committee meeting that was adjourned by a motion from the floor?
Dimensions will be expressed in the least convenient terms, e.g.: Furlongs per Fort-
night2 = Acceleration.
Diplomacy is the art of saying “Nice doggie!” till you can find a rock.
Diplomacy is to do and say the nastiest thing in the nicest way.
Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it…You take diplomacy out of war. and the thing would fall flat in a week
Do not believe in miracles–rely on them
Never try to out-stubborn a cat. Lazarus Long
Never try to teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time, and annoys the pig.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Never use one word when a dozen will suffice. —Paul Herbis
Nice going sweetheart. —Joe Patroni.
No action is without side effects. —Barry Commoner.
No amount of experimentation can prove me right; a single experiment can prove me wrong.
No cord or cable can draw so forcible, or bind so fast, as love can with a single thread.
No experiment is ever a complete failure. It can always serve as a bad example, or the exception that proves the rule (but only if it is the first experiment in the series).
No good deed goes unpunished. —Clare Booth Luce
No man can be wise on an empty stomach. —George Elliot
No man was ever so much deceived by another man as by himself
No man’s life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
No matter how much you do, you’ll never do enough.
No matter how often you trade dinner or other invitations with in-laws, you will lose a small portion in the exchange. Corollary: Don’t try it; you cannot drink enough of your in-laws’ booze to get even before the liver fails.
No matter how thin you slice it; it’s still baloney. —Alfred E. Smith
No matter what happens, there is always somebody who knew that it would.
No one is as tired as the person who does nothing.
No one is ever old enough to know better. —Holbrook Jackson
No one man can terrorize a whole nation unless we are all his accomplices.
Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
Nothing is ever as simple as it seems.
Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm; it is the real allegory of the tale of Orpheus; it moves stones, it charms brutes. Enthusiasm is the genius of sincerity, and truth accomplishes no victories without it. —Bulwer
Nothing so much prevents our being natural as the desire of appearing so.
Nothing worth a damn is ever done as a matter of principal. If it is worth doing, it is done because it is worth doing. If it is not, it’s done as a matter of principal.
—James T. Evans
Numbers are symbols for things; the number and the thing are not the same
Numbers are tools, not rules. —G.O. Ashley
ONE-SHOT CASE STUDY: The scientific equivalent of the four-leaf clover, from which it is concluded all clover possesses four leaves and is sometimes green.
OSHA’s Discovery: Wet manure is: s1ippery. (Occupational Safety and Health Administration)
Obituaries are the last writes.
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
Of all the agonies of life, that which is most poignant and harrowing–that which for the most time annihilates reason and leaves our whole organization one lacerated mangled heart–is the conviction that we have been deceived where we placed all the trust of love.
Of all the strange “crimes” that human beings have legislated out of nothing, “blasphemy” is the most amazing–with “obscenity” and “indecent exposure” fighting it out for second and third place.
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven. —Mark Twain
Often statistics are used as a drunken man uses lampposts—for support rather than illumination.
Often the test of courage is not to die but to live
—Conte Vittorio Alfieri
Old Jedi Knights never die; they just fade in and fade out.
Old Scottish Prayer: O Lord, grant that we may always be right, for Thou knowest we will never change our minds.
On a beautiful day like this it’s hard to believe anyone can be unhappy, but we’ll work on it.
‘ —Donald Barr
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
On beginning play, as many balls as may be required to obtain a satisfactory result may be played from the first tee. Everyone recognizes a good player needs to “loosen up” but does not have time for the practice tee.
—Donald A. Metz
On curing the depression that comes with having to work for a living: stay home for a day and watch daytime TV. —Sheldon
On the other hand are four fingers and a thumb.
Once economists were asked, “If you’re so smart, why ain’t you rich?” Today they’re asked, “Now that you’ve proved that you ain’t so smart, how come you got so rich?”
—Edgar R. Fiedler
Once is not enough. —Jacqueline Suzanne
One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening.
—Franklin P. Jones
One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
One cannot make an omelet without breaking eggs–but it is amazing how many eggs can break without making a decent omelet.
—Prof. C.P. Issawi
One does not have to keep bad governments in to keep Communists out.
—John Kenneth Galbraith
One fact is better than one hundred apologies.
One learns to itch where one can scratch.
One man with courage makes a majority.
One moment of patience may ward off a great disaster; one moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
One need only look at Dolly Parton to realize that good things don’t always come in small packages.
One of life’s greatest pleasures; paying the last installment.
One of the joys of travel is visiting new towns and meeting new people.
One thing common to most success stories is the alarm clock.
One worthwhile task carried to a successful conclusion is worth half-a-hundred half-finished tasks. —B.C. Forbes
Only the incompetent and mediocre are always at their best.
Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.
Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
Our judgment can be no better than our information.
Our repentance is not so much regret for the evil we have done, as fear of its consequences.
Ours is a world where people don’t know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it.
PERFORMANCE PROVEN: will operate through warranty period.
POST-TEST: A test made too late.
PRE-TEST: A test made too soon.
Parkinson’s Law of 1000: An enterprise employing more than 1000 people becomes a self-perpetuating empire, creating so much internal work that it no longer needs any contact with the outside world.
Parkinson’s Telephone Law: The effectiveness of a telephone conversation is in inverse proportion to the time, spent on it.
Passengers on elevators constantly rearrange their positions as people get on and off so there is at all times an equal distance between all bodies
Passion often makes a madman of the cleverest man, and renders the greatest fools clever.
People are always available for work in the past tense.
People are never so ready to believe you as when you say things in dispraise of yourself; and you are never so much annoyed as when they take you at your word.
People fail many times, but they become failures only when they begin to blame some one else.
People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be, not what you nag them to be.
People may forget how fast you did a job but they will remember how well you did it.
People seldom improve, when they have no other model but themselves to copy.
, —Oliver Goldsmith
People who believe that the dead never come back to life, should be here at quitting time.
People who develop the habit of thinking of themselves as world citizens are fulfilling the first requirement of sanity of our time.
— Norman Cousins
People who fail to understand their past mistakes may be condemned to make them over again.
People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.
People who live in glass houses shouldn’t stow trones.
People who lose their heads are usually the last to miss them.
People who run down others are making a roundabout way of praising themselves.
People who wait until they feel like doing a job…rarely do.
People who will not admit they’ve been wrong, love themselves more than they love the truth.
People who write the most interesting and effective letters never answer letters. They answer people.
People will be happy in about the same degree that they are helpful.
Perfect valor is to do unwitnessed what we should be capable of doing.
— Duc La Rochefoucauld
Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the, thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
— Thomas Henry Huxley
An elephant: a mouse built to government specifications.
An exception TESTS a rule; it NEVER proves it.
–Edmund C. Berkeley
An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.
An expert is someone who can take something you already knew and make it sound confusing.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.
An old car that served you so well will continue to serve you until you have just put four new tires under it and then it will fall apart.
An optimist is a person who goes to the window every morning and says, “Good morning God!” The pessimist goes to the window every morning and says, “Good god, morning.”
An optimist proclaims that this is the best of all possible worlds, and a pessimist fears that this is true.
And he gave it as his opinion. that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot if ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together.
Andrew’s Canoeing Postulate: No matter which direction you start, it’s always against the wind coming back.
Energy-State: Any state of condition of the Universe or any portion of it which requires the expenditure of human effort or ingenuity to bring it into line with human desires, needs, or pleasures.
–Dr. John Gall
Anthony’s Law of Force: Don’t force it. Get a larger hammer.
Anthony’s Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will role into the least accessible corner of the workshop. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes.
Any bus that can be the wrong bus will be the wrong bus. All others are out of service or full.
Any discovery is more likely to be exploited by the wicked than applied by the virtuous.
—Marion J. Levy Jr.
Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
Any inanimate object, regardless of its composition or configuration, may be expected to perform at any time in a totally unexpected manner for reasons that are either totally obscure or completely mysterious.
—Dr. Fyodor Flap
Any jackass can, kick down a bar but it takes a good carpenter to build one.
Any large system is going to be operating most of the time in failure mode.
–Dr. John Gall
Any man can prove he has good judgment by saying you have.
Any man that can write, may answer a letter.
Any man who hates dogs and loves whiskey can’t be all bad.
Any mind that is capable of real sorrow is capable of good.
Anyone can be great with money. With money, greatness is not a talent but an obligation. The trick is to be great without money. –Italo Bombolini
Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.
Any race that doesn’t use all its potential will always stop short of its possibilities.
— Jose Torres
Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.
Any theory that can be made to fit any facts by means of appropriate additional assumptions.
–Robert E. Schenk
Any time you wish to demonstrate something, the number of faults is proportional to the number of viewers.
Any vacuum cleaner would sooner take the nap off a rug than remove white threads from a dark rug.
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
Anybody has a right to evade taxes if he can get away with it. No citizen has a moral obligation to assist in maintaining the government.
Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he’ll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
Anyone who has begun to think places some portion of the world in jeopardy.
Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried taking candy from a baby.
Anything free is worth what you paid for it.
Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.
–Robert A. Jackson
Anything you can do I can do better; anything I can do you can do better; anything I can do I can do better: anything IBM does is going to cost more money.
Applause is the spur of noble minds, the end and aim of weak ones.
Are you a man or a mouse? Come on, squeak up!
Army Law: If it moves, salute it; if it doesn’t move, pick it up; and if you· can’t pick it up, paint it.
As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign has ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. As a man may be eating all day, and for want of digestion is never nourished, so these endless readers may cram themselves in vain with intellectual food.
–Dr. I. Watts
As long as mankind shall continue to bestow more liberal applause on their destroyers than on their benefactors, the thirst of military glory will ever be the vice of the most exalted characters.
As the dimensions of the tree are not always regulated by the size of the seed, so the consequences of things are not always proportionate to the apparent magnitude of those events that have produced them. –Colton
Ask five economists and you’ll get five different explanations (six if one went to Harvard).
–Edgar R. Fiedler
At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. –Marshall Lumsden
At some point, every faculty would certainly lynch its dean–if it could only agree on a date.
At some time in the life cycle of virtually every organization, its ability to succeed in spite of itself runs out. –Richard H. Brian
Atoms are made up of electrons and protons (protons are also nothing). Fifty billion electrons placed side by side in a straight line would stretch across the period at the end of this sentence. Protons are heavier but take up less space. Such an idea is incapable of being absorbed by the human mind
—John Lardner & Thomas Sugrue
Attention to detail is the watchword for gleaning information from an unsuspecting witness.
Auditors always reject a newsman’s expense account with a bottom line divided by a 5 or 10.
Auditors are the people who go in after the war is lost and bayonet the wounded.
Authority intoxicates, and makes mere sots of magistrates. The fumes of it invade the brain, and make men giddy, proud and vain; by this the fool commands the wise.
The noble with the base complies. The sot assumes the role of wit, and cowards make the base submit. –Butler
Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry (nota bene: Circumstances can force your hand. So think ahead!). –Lazarus Long
Avoid strong drink. It makes you shoot at IRS agents–and miss
BREAKTHROUGH: We finally figured out a way to sell it.
Bad law is more likely to be supplemented than be repealed.
—Dalin B. Oaks
Banish Evil from the world? Nonsense! Encourage it, foster it, sponsor it. The world owes Evil a debt beyond imagination. Think! Without greed, ambition falters. Without vanity, art becomes idle musing.; Without cruelty, benevolence lapses into passivity. Where would be the savior of superior understanding? –Magnus Rudolf
Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upward from the floor–especially in the dark.
Barr’s Hypothesis: Familiarity breeds content.
Bartz’s Law of Hokey Horsepuckery: The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.
–Wayne R. Bartz
Be a defensive driver. Buy a Tiger M31.
Be alert! America needs more lerts.
Be careful who you step on on the way up; you never know who you’ll pass on the way down.
Be like a duck–keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil under the water.
Be sure to save your money, you never know when it might be worth something again.
Be tolerant of those who disagree with you–after all, they have a right to their ridiculous opinions.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
Beauty without virtue is like a flower without perfume.
Beck’s postulate: Murphy was an optimist.
Bedfellows make strange politicians.
Behind every argument is someone’s ignorance.
Behind every great man is a great woman. Behind every great woman is a great behind.
–Anonymous male chauvinist
Being generous is inborn; being altruistic is a learned perversity. No resemblance…
Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think its important
Better be alone than in bad company.
Better bend than break.
Better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a lamb.
Better to use medicines at the outset than at the last moment.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before
Beware of people who fall at your feet. They may. be reaching for the corner of the rug.
Bicycle Law: All bicycles weigh 50 pounds: a 30-pound bicycle needs a 20-pound lock and chain. A 40-pound bicycle needs a 10-pound lock and chain. A 50-pound bicycle needs no lock and chain.
Big people are those who make us feel bigger when we are with them.
Biochemistry expands so as to fill the space and time available for its completion
and publication. –R.T. Hersh
Bismarck’s Law: The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they’ll sleep at night.
Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
Blessed is he who expects no gratitude, for he shall not be disappointed
Boren’s Law of Bureaucracy: When in doubt. mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in
charge, ponder. –James H. Boren
Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.
–Franklin P. Jones
Broken Mirror Law: Everyone breaks more than the seven year bad luck allotment to cover rotten luck throughout an entire lifetime. –Rozanne Weissman
Build a system that even a fool could use, and only a fool will want to use it.
Burn’s Hog Weighing Method: Get a perfectly symmetrical plank and balance it across a sawhorse. Put the hog on one end of the plank. Pile rocks on the other end until the plank is again perfectly balanced. Carefully guess the weight of the rocks.
By the data to date, there is only one animal in the Galaxy dangerous to man—man himself. So he must supply his own indispensable competition. He has no enemy to help him.
By the time a person gets to greener pastures, he can’t climb the fence.
Cameras are so simple to operate now that taking pictures is much easier than getting friends to look at them. –Hugh Allen
Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points
Capital Punishment: the income tax.
Capitalism can ‘exist in one of only two states: welfare or warfare
Celibacy is not hereditary. –Guy Godin
Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they’re going to catch you in next.
–Franklin P. Jones
Circular Definition: see Circular Definition.
Clearly stated instructions will consistently produce multiple interpretations.
Cole’s Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Colson’s Law: If you’ve got them; by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Committee–A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.” –Fred Allen
Committee–A group of men who keep minutes and waste hours
Committee–A group of the unfit appointed by the unwilling, to do the unnecessary.
Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.
Compared with everything else in data processing, paper is cheap; use it. But the value of a report decreases as the number of its pages increases.
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable
Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job will cost. ‘
Conscious is when you are aware of something and conscience is when you wish you weren’t.