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Courage consists not in blindly overlooking danger, but in seeing it, and conquering it.
Courage is the complement of fear. A man who is fearless cannot be courageous. (he is also a fool.)
—Lazarus Long
Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village.
—Leonard Louis Levinson”
Courtship consists of a number of quiet attentions, not so pointed as to alarm. Nor so vague as not to be understood. —Sterne
Coward–one who in perilous emergency thinks with his legs
—Ambrose Bierce
Cows may come and cows may GO, but the bull in this place goes on FOREVER!!!
Crane’s Rule: There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
Creativity varies inversely with the number of cooks involved with the broth.
, —Bernice Fitz-Gibbon
Creditors have better memories than debtors: and creditors are a superstitious sect, great observers of set days and times. —Benjamin Franklin
Croll’s Query: If tin whistles are made of tin, what are foghorns made of?
Cunning and deceit will every time serve a man better than force
Cutting the space budget really restores my faith in humanity. It eliminates dreams, goals, and ideals and lets us get straight to the business of hate, debauchery, and self-annihilation.
—Johnny Hart
Cynics are right nine times out of ten, what undoes them is their belief that they are right ten times out of ten.
—Prof. C.P. Issawi
Deception Experiment: An experiment in which the researcher is pleased to believe that the true nature of the situation is unknown to the participants. Typically, the only parties deceived are the funding agency and the Journal editor.
Diagnostic: software which runs to completion no matter how broken the hardware is.
DIPLOMACY: The art of jumping into troubled waters without making a splash.
DIRECT SALES ONLY: Manufacturer had argument with distributor.
DOUBLE-BLIND EXPERIMENT: An experiment in which the chief researcher believes he is fooling both the subject and the lab assistant. Often accompanied by a belief in the tooth fairy.
Decisions of the judges will be final unless shouted down by a really overwhelming majority of the crowd present. Abusive and obscene language may not be used by the contestants when addressing members of the judging panel, or, conversely, by members of the judging panel when addressing contestants (unless struck by a boomerang).
—Benjamin Ruhe
Delusions are often functional. A mother’s opinions about her children’s beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.
—Lazarus Long
Democracy is that form of government where everybody gets what the majority deserves.
—James D. Davidson
Democracy can learn something from Communism: for example, when a Communist politician is through, he is through.
Democracy is a device that insures that we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
—George Bernard Shaw
Dialogue: opposing factions discussing relevant issues. Formerly called an argument.
—Paul Sweeney
Did you hear about the earthquake committee meeting that was adjourned by a motion from the floor?
Dimensions will be expressed in the least convenient terms, e.g.: Furlongs per Fort-
night2 = Acceleration.
Diplomacy is the art of saying “Nice doggie!” till you can find a rock.
Diplomacy is to do and say the nastiest thing in the nicest way.
Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it…You take diplomacy out of war. and the thing would fall flat in a week
—Will Rogers
Do not believe in miracles–rely on them
Never try to out-stubborn a cat. Lazarus Long
Never try to teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time, and annoys the pig.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Never use one word when a dozen will suffice. —Paul Herbis
Nice going sweetheart. —Joe Patroni.
No action is without side effects. —Barry Commoner.
No amount of experimentation can prove me right; a single experiment can prove me wrong.
—Albert Einstein.
No cord or cable can draw so forcible, or bind so fast, as love can with a single thread.
No experiment is ever a complete failure. It can always serve as a bad example, or the exception that proves the rule (but only if it is the first experiment in the series).
No good deed goes unpunished. —Clare Booth Luce
No man can be wise on an empty stomach. —George Elliot
No man was ever so much deceived by another man as by himself
No man’s life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
No matter how much you do, you’ll never do enough.
No matter how often you trade dinner or other invitations with in-laws, you will lose a small portion in the exchange. Corollary: Don’t try it; you cannot drink enough of your in-laws’ booze to get even before the liver fails.
—Jackson Clark
No matter how thin you slice it; it’s still baloney. —Alfred E. Smith
No matter what happens, there is always somebody who knew that it would.
No one is as tired as the person who does nothing.
No one is ever old enough to know better. —Holbrook Jackson
No one man can terrorize a whole nation unless we are all his accomplices.
Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
Nothing is ever as simple as it seems.
Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm; it is the real allegory of the tale of Orpheus; it moves stones, it charms brutes. Enthusiasm is the genius of sincerity, and truth accomplishes no victories without it. —Bulwer
Nothing so much prevents our being natural as the desire of appearing so.
—La Rochefoucauld
Nothing worth a damn is ever done as a matter of principal. If it is worth doing, it is done because it is worth doing. If it is not, it’s done as a matter of principal.
—James T. Evans
Numbers are symbols for things; the number and the thing are not the same
—G.O. Ashley
Numbers are tools, not rules. —G.O. Ashley
ONE-SHOT CASE STUDY: The scientific equivalent of the four-leaf clover, from which it is concluded all clover possesses four leaves and is sometimes green.
OSHA’s Discovery: Wet manure is: s1ippery. (Occupational Safety and Health Administration)
Obituaries are the last writes.
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
Of all the agonies of life, that which is most poignant and harrowing–that which for the most time annihilates reason and leaves our whole organization one lacerated mangled heart–is the conviction that we have been deceived where we placed all the trust of love.
Of all the strange “crimes” that human beings have legislated out of nothing, “blasphemy” is the most amazing–with “obscenity” and “indecent exposure” fighting it out for second and third place.
—Lazarus Long
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven. —Mark Twain
Often statistics are used as a drunken man uses lampposts—for support rather than illumination.
Often the test of courage is not to die but to live
—Conte Vittorio Alfieri
Old Jedi Knights never die; they just fade in and fade out.
Old Scottish Prayer: O Lord, grant that we may always be right, for Thou knowest we will never change our minds.
On a beautiful day like this it’s hard to believe anyone can be unhappy, but we’ll work on it.
‘ —Donald Barr
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
—Will Rogers
On beginning play, as many balls as may be required to obtain a satisfactory result may be played from the first tee. Everyone recognizes a good player needs to “loosen up” but does not have time for the practice tee.
—Donald A. Metz
On curing the depression that comes with having to work for a living: stay home for a day and watch daytime TV. —Sheldon
On the other hand are four fingers and a thumb.
Once economists were asked, “If you’re so smart, why ain’t you rich?” Today they’re asked, “Now that you’ve proved that you ain’t so smart, how come you got so rich?”
—Edgar R. Fiedler
Once is not enough. —Jacqueline Suzanne
One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening.
—Franklin P. Jones
One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
—Helen Keller
One cannot make an omelet without breaking eggs–but it is amazing how many eggs can break without making a decent omelet.
—Prof. C.P. Issawi
One does not have to keep bad governments in to keep Communists out.
—John Kenneth Galbraith
One fact is better than one hundred apologies.
One learns to itch where one can scratch.
One man with courage makes a majority.
One moment of patience may ward off a great disaster; one moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
One need only look at Dolly Parton to realize that good things don’t always come in small packages.
One of life’s greatest pleasures; paying the last installment.
One of the joys of travel is visiting new towns and meeting new people.
—Genghis Khan
One thing common to most success stories is the alarm clock.
One worthwhile task carried to a successful conclusion is worth half-a-hundred half-finished tasks. —B.C. Forbes
Only the incompetent and mediocre are always at their best.
Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.
Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
—Oliver Goldsmith
Our judgment can be no better than our information.
Our repentance is not so much regret for the evil we have done, as fear of its consequences.
Ours is a world where people don’t know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it.
PERFORMANCE PROVEN: will operate through warranty period.
POST-TEST: A test made too late.
PRE-TEST: A test made too soon.
Parkinson’s Law of 1000: An enterprise employing more than 1000 people becomes a self-perpetuating empire, creating so much internal work that it no longer needs any contact with the outside world.
Parkinson’s Telephone Law: The effectiveness of a telephone conversation is in inverse proportion to the time, spent on it.
Passengers on elevators constantly rearrange their positions as people get on and off so there is at all times an equal distance between all bodies
—John Sharkey
Passion often makes a madman of the cleverest man, and renders the greatest fools clever.
—La Rochefoucauld
People are always available for work in the past tense.
People are never so ready to believe you as when you say things in dispraise of yourself; and you are never so much annoyed as when they take you at your word.
—Somerset Maugham
People fail many times, but they become failures only when they begin to blame some one else.
People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be, not what you nag them to be.
—Ernest Bramah
People may forget how fast you did a job but they will remember how well you did it.
People seldom improve, when they have no other model but themselves to copy.
, —Oliver Goldsmith
People who believe that the dead never come back to life, should be here at quitting time.
People who develop the habit of thinking of themselves as world citizens are fulfilling the first requirement of sanity of our time.
— Norman Cousins
People who fail to understand their past mistakes may be condemned to make them over again.
People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.
People who live in glass houses shouldn’t stow trones.
People who lose their heads are usually the last to miss them.
People who run down others are making a roundabout way of praising themselves.
People who wait until they feel like doing a job…rarely do.
People who will not admit they’ve been wrong, love themselves more than they love the truth.
People who write the most interesting and effective letters never answer letters. They answer people.
People will be happy in about the same degree that they are helpful.
Perfect valor is to do unwitnessed what we should be capable of doing.
— Duc La Rochefoucauld
Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the, thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
— Thomas Henry Huxley

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